Today’s experience at the gym was, well, interesting. Oh, and I promise, I won’t post too much about my Fibromyalgia journey going forward, but putting it out there is kind of cathartic for me.
Anyway, here’s what happened…
Today I kicked off my personal “Kick Fibro’s Ass” campaign, complete with a better and healthier diet and attending these warm water pool classes to help with my stiff and sore body.
When I arrived I was almost the youngest one there; one girl is in college. The rest of the ladies could have been my mom or even my grandmother from an age perspective. All of them were there for help with their Arthritis. (They offer a fibro class, but it is during the day, so I joined the 6:00 am Arthritis class.)
We began by walking the length of the pool, back and forth, changing our steps from walking, to marching, to kicking our own butts, etc… Then we did a series of arm, shoulder, and neck stretches, followed by more walking, and finally leg and hip work.
The ladies were great – friendly and funny and many have been there, together for years. They know the intimate stories of each others lives, supporting and chatting and loving on each other. It was amazing to be with them and hear them.
The part that I didn’t love was the new reality that this type of workout – simple, basic, minimal – hurt. It challenged me. It pushed me.
I played three sports a year at one point in my life. I’ve done 5K’s.
Now, simple movements in a warm water pool left me sore and challenged.
And completely frustrated.
Only a few hours into this personal campaign and I was already feeling completely and utterly defeated.
I know that this is going to be a process – probably a slow one.
That is hard for me… I like things to move fast. I like things to get done when I want them done, which is usually now or yesterday and not days or weeks into the future. I am results-oriented and have minimal patience for things like this.
I realized that finding the new me, is going to take more time than I thought.
And then, later in the day, there was a moment that rocked my world and reminded me of how fragile life is. I am sore, but healthy. I not suffering from something that is inoperable or progressively destructive. My family is safe and healthy and so am I.
It’s all about perspective, people, perspective.
What the hell am I complaining about?
I kicked my own ass, said suck it up, and moved on, even if it was a bit slower than before.
I then hugged my kids a little tighter, told Matt that I loved him, and created my new motto – not very poetic, but true enough:
“Every day is a blessing, whether it hurts or not, and it could be a whole lot worse, so suck it up buttercup and get off your ass.”